Little Things Matter in a Fizzled Out Marriage
63Has your marriage fizzled out? Have years of life changes—children, jobs, family, church—made you callous and cold towards your spouse? These things can happen without you even realizing it. It does not happen overnight, though.
One of the first things that usually goes out the window after a few years of marriage is the desire to keep doing all the little things that you once loved to do for your spouse. When the honeymoon wears off, children enter the picture, and job situations change, you might suddenly find yourself so wrapped up in life that you don’t have a life anymore.
The biggest sign of a failing marriage is constant bickering and arguing. You find yourself growing angry at your spouse because of something they didn’t do that they should have. You become so consumed with anger and regret that you start pointing out all the flaws in your spouse.
This does not have to happen. And if you find yourself in this very position right now, I’m here to tell you that there is something you can do to change it. You have the choice—right now, in this very moment—to make positive changes in your marriage or let it fall to the wayside of divorce.
Remember
The easiest step you can take to rekindling that first love between you and your spouse is remembering all the little things about him/her that made you fall in love with him/her in the first place.
Maybe it was a smile, a look, a laugh that gave you that first tingle. Find some alone time to sit and think back to those first days of dating. Remember what it was that attracted you to your spouse and fall in love.
Act
Perhaps one of the main reasons why so many marriages fail is that neither person is willing to admit that they have given up. Or worse yet, neither want to give an inch to work on making the marriage better.
Regardless of whether or not your spouse seems interested in your marriage anymore, it is your responsibility to take action. When you see wildflowers in a field and think of her, stop and pick them for her (if it’s legal where you live). When you read a humorous card that makes you laugh and think of him, buy it and write him a loving note inside.
There are so many little things you once did to please your spouse before marriage, and make him/her happy. Why did you stop doing them? It’s all these little things that help oil the wheels of marriage. Coffee in bed or a bouquet of flowers “just because” are the little things that every marriage still needs.
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What "little" things matter in your marriage?Loading...
Exactly! :)
Great idea to focus on what you fell in love with in the first place because often times what we think was cute in the beginning can become annoying later on. By realizing that was something we liked and draw us to our spouse in the first place, it may be easier to look over later on.
You are exactly right, John. It's so much easier to focus on the things we don't like. When we grow up and start looking for things we do like/admire, things get a lot better--for both involved! :)
Good advice. We often become indifferent or worse yet, we focus on the faults instead of the good. What we focus on grows. So the more we focus on the negative, the more negative we see.
Most of the times if we simply stop focusing on the negative and start to focus on the good in the relationship, it will improve.
Eileen Hughes Level 3 Commenter 3 years ago
Great hub, yes it is so easy to get into the day to day life and just carry on not realising what we have lost or on the way to losing. We all need to take stock of our lives and our marriage from time to time.
I wrote a little fiction story about this Called my secret, it is on hubs I did take bits and pieces from my life and then exagerated it. But it gives people an idea of how to spice up the marriage again I think.
http://hubpages.com/hub/short-story-My-Secret